I was sitting at my desk afterschool one Tuesday, when Watson dropped by, sticking his head into the teacher's room. After the almost obligatory "Watch, please!" "No! Go buy your own!" he started to heckle the other teachers. Noisy Fucker was on his way out, so with Watson blocking the doorway he grabbed some big pole thing that was forked at the end, and used it to push Watson out of the doorway, and pin him against a wall. "This is a good place for you, isn't it?" Noisy Fucker says. Out of ALL the teachers in the teachers room, Watson calls out to me - "Help, help! Come save me!"
It was at this exact moment that I realized Watson lives in his own separate reality, completely different from our own. Given the countless times he's tried to sexually molest me, AND steal my watch, AND ride me like a horse down the hallways of the school...after ALL of that, of ALL the people in the teacher's room who he thought could've bailed him out of this situation, he turns to me?! Cute, kid. I'd like to visit this alternate reality Bizarro-Universe of yours someday. Just hook me up with a nice teachers discount on airfare, that's all I ask.
"Help you?" I call out. "I'm rooting for Noisy Fucker on this one!" Watson scowls at me, but eventually Noisy Fucker lets him go and he scampers away. I came to find out that he usually drops by the teachers room, sticks his head in, and gives the teachers some form of harassment. Today, all the teachers comment on the slight facial hair he's starting to grow. Watson is, after all, a sannensei. "I guess he's growing up." The Vice-Principal says. There was a slight pause, and the weight of that comment fully sank in. Noisy Gentleman is the first to respond. "Yet somehow, it doesn't quite feel that way."
...What I love about Noisy Gentleman, is that you can count on him to say what everyone else was thinking but wasn't going to say.
The next day, I was going back to the teachers room from a class, when I ran into Watson again. Like always, he tried to jump on my back and ride me back to the teachers room. This time, my arms and legs were badly scratched up from an accident I'd had earlier in the day, and with my English teacher seriously telling him to knock him off, I was able to avoid becoming a Greyhound bus that day. But Watson still lingered around, for what devilsh purpose I didn't know yet.
Before I got to the teachers room, I ran into another sannensei boy, who stopped me with a question.
Boy: Hey, do you know (some kid's name)?
Me: Hmm. Doesn't ring a bell.
Boy: You know, (kid's name)!
Me: Is he a student here?
Boy: No, he's a student at the School of Peace.
Me: Ah, okay. Well, I know everyone's face, but names are a little harder...
Boy: Ah, I see. Well, he's kind of round and pudgy like Watson here...
Watson: I'm pudgy! (He says this with a smile and zest, as if he were proud of it)
Boy: But he's not an complete ass like Watson...
Watson: Yeah, but he's not an....HEY WAITAMINUTE!
I couldn't help but to laugh here.
Watson: (to me) Hey! Don't laugh at that!
Boy: It's okay to laugh, because it's true.
Watson: You guys are mean!
Boy: No, you're just an ass.
Defeated, Watson runs off at this point. But not before giving me a sharp open-palmed finger-jab to the nuts. ...What the shit? Is that what we've come to now, eh Watson? If you can't touch it, destroy it? I shunned all the people who emailed me with suggestions of wearing a cup to school, but maybe it was a better idea than I thought. This shit is getting dangerous.
10 years in the future....
Me: Honey, I have something to tell you. I'm terribly sorry, but I am unable to produce children.
Wife: Oh my God. Why not? What happened?
Me: Well...ten years ago...a 15-year old Japanese boy jabbed me in the nuts and...I'm sorry, it's still difficult to talk about...*sob*....
Little did I know, this was only the beginning of the end.....
What's under your ctrl-v?
Moderator: MaxCoderz Staff
-
currahee
- Calc Wizard
- Posts: 659
- Joined: Mon 20 Dec, 2004 4:00 am
- Location: My Computer/Someone else's computer
- Contact:
"Not long ago, the Black Gate of Armonk swung open. The lights went out, my skin crawled, and dogs began to howl. I asked my neighbor what it was and he said, 'Those are the nazgul. Once they were human, now they are IBM's lawyers.'"
http://www.shacknews.com/screens.x/batt ... CRN_50.jpg
'Twas from another place where I wanted to show people the armored forklift you will get in the bf2 expansion.
'Twas from another place where I wanted to show people the armored forklift you will get in the bf2 expansion.
bananas... o.o
[quote]RIAA Countersued
In RIAA News, submitted by RaiseR RoofeR on 10/4/2005 8:53:45 PM
A woman who was sued by the Recording Industry of America for file-sharing has countersued the outfit for hacking.
Tanya Andersen, a 41-year old disabled single mother living in Oregon, has countersued the RIAA for Oregon RICO violations, fraud, invasion of privacy, abuse of process, electronic trespass, violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, negligent misrepresentation. She is claiming hurt feelings and "outrage", and deceptive business practices.
According to court documents here, Anderson said the record industry has been abusing the law courts and waged a public relations and public threat campaign targeting file sharing.
She claims that the RIAA hired an outfit called MediaSentry to invade private home computers and collect personal information. Based on private information allegedly extracted from these personal home computers, the record companies have reportedly filed lawsuits against more than 13,500 anonymous "John Does".
She claims the record companies provide the personal information to Settlement Support Center, which engages in outlawed and deceptive debt collection and other illegal conduct to extract money from the people allegedly identified from the secret lawsuits.
She said that she has never downloaded or shared music online. She has not infringed on any of plaintiffs’ alleged copyrighted interest. However, she has been a victim of the record companies’ public threat campaign.
The RIAA falsely claimed that Andersen had been an "unnamed" defendant who was being sued in federal court in the District of Columbia. She was never named in that lawsuit and never received service of a summons and complaint, she said.
When Andersen contacted Settlement Support Center, she was advised that her personal home computer had been secretly entered by the record companies’ agents, MediaSentry.
Apparently she had been up at 4:24am downloading "gangster rap" music under the login name “gotenkito@kazaa.com.â€ÂÂ
In RIAA News, submitted by RaiseR RoofeR on 10/4/2005 8:53:45 PM
A woman who was sued by the Recording Industry of America for file-sharing has countersued the outfit for hacking.
Tanya Andersen, a 41-year old disabled single mother living in Oregon, has countersued the RIAA for Oregon RICO violations, fraud, invasion of privacy, abuse of process, electronic trespass, violation of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, negligent misrepresentation. She is claiming hurt feelings and "outrage", and deceptive business practices.
According to court documents here, Anderson said the record industry has been abusing the law courts and waged a public relations and public threat campaign targeting file sharing.
She claims that the RIAA hired an outfit called MediaSentry to invade private home computers and collect personal information. Based on private information allegedly extracted from these personal home computers, the record companies have reportedly filed lawsuits against more than 13,500 anonymous "John Does".
She claims the record companies provide the personal information to Settlement Support Center, which engages in outlawed and deceptive debt collection and other illegal conduct to extract money from the people allegedly identified from the secret lawsuits.
She said that she has never downloaded or shared music online. She has not infringed on any of plaintiffs’ alleged copyrighted interest. However, she has been a victim of the record companies’ public threat campaign.
The RIAA falsely claimed that Andersen had been an "unnamed" defendant who was being sued in federal court in the District of Columbia. She was never named in that lawsuit and never received service of a summons and complaint, she said.
When Andersen contacted Settlement Support Center, she was advised that her personal home computer had been secretly entered by the record companies’ agents, MediaSentry.
Apparently she had been up at 4:24am downloading "gangster rap" music under the login name “gotenkito@kazaa.com.â€ÂÂ
-
threefingeredguy
- Calc King
- Posts: 2195
- Joined: Sun 27 Mar, 2005 4:06 am
- Location: sleeping
- Contact:
. Crazy school computers.
Hmm... weird, my clipboard is empty... probably because I used VNC earlier today, which shares the clipboard of both computers. Anyway, the last this I copy-pasted is probably this piece of javascript:
Yes, I'm coding a website and my contracters want a scrolling text in the status line of their sitefunction goMessage() {
if ( flip ) {
size = (longmessage.substring(count)).length;
if ( size < 100 ) {
msg = longmessage.substring(count)+" "+longmessage.substring(0,100-size);
} else {
msg = longmessage.substring(count,count+100);
}
window.status = msg;
count++;
if ( size == 0 ) {
count = 0;
}
} else {
window.status = longmessage.substring(0,count);
count++;
if ( count > 100 ) {
count = 0;
flip = 1;
}
}
}
http://clap.timendus.com/ - The Calculator Link Alternative Protocol
http://api.timendus.com/ - Make your life easier, leave the coding to the API
http://vera.timendus.com/ - The calc lover's OS
http://api.timendus.com/ - Make your life easier, leave the coding to the API
http://vera.timendus.com/ - The calc lover's OS
-
Shadow Phoenix
- Calc Guru
- Posts: 835
- Joined: Mon 03 Jan, 2005 7:54 pm
- Location: out there. seriosly.
